Guo da li (过大礼) is the Chinese betrothal ceremony. The groom’s family brings gifts to the bride’s family to formally ask for her hand, and the bride’s family accepts by keeping some and sending the rest back. In Singapore it is still part of most Chinese weddings, even when the rest of the day is modern.
What you bring depends on your dialect group. Below are the common Singapore lists for Hokkien, Teochew, Cantonese and Hakka families, with the Chinese name for each item so you can shop for it, what it means, and what goes back at hui li.
When, who and whose customs
- When. One to four weeks before the wedding, on an auspicious day picked from the Chinese almanac (tong shu).
- Who goes. The groom with an elder female relative or a matchmaker. Many families also send both parents.
- Whose customs. If the families are from different dialect groups, most follow the groom's.
- Even numbers. Gifts come in pairs or even numbers. Avoid fours.
- Hui li. The bride's family returns about half of the gifts, usually the same day.
Guo da li items: Hokkien and Teochew
The two lists are close. Items marked Teochew or Hokkien are particular to that group.
| Item | Chinese | How many | What it means |
|---|---|---|---|
| Betrothal ang bao (pin jin) | 聘金 | Thanks the bride's parents for raising her | |
| Dragon and phoenix candles | 龙凤烛 | 2 pairs | Lit at the hair-combing ritual on the wedding eve |
| Basket for the gifts | 1 | Red and black basket (Hokkien) or straw basket (Teochew) | |
| Canned pig trotters, or roast pork | 猪蹄 / 烧肉 | 6 cans or more | For the bride's mother |
| Red wine or hard liquor | 酒 | 2 bottles | For the bride's father |
| Traditional wedding cakes | 喜饼 | as agreed | Shared with relatives and friends to announce the wedding |
| Oranges | 橘子 | 8 to 12 | Good luck |
| Apples | 苹果 | 12 to 16 | Peace |
| Peanut and sesame candy (Teochew) | 花生芝麻糖 | 2 packs | Many children and grandchildren |
| Grandmother cake (Lao Ma Gor) | 1 box | For the bride's grandmother; skip if she has passed away | |
| Bananas (Teochew) | 香蕉 | 2 bunches | Sounds like 'bring': bringing children |
| Rice candy (Hokkien) | 米糖 | 2 packs | Prosperity |
| Coconuts | 椰子 | 1 pair | Generations to come |
| Black moss | 发菜 | 2 packs | Sounds like 'prosper': abundant wealth |
| Charcoal | 木炭 | 1 bundle | A good, warm life after marriage |
| White sesame seeds and tea leaves | 芝麻 / 茶叶 | 2 + 2 | Seeds that grow into trees |
| Double happiness stickers | 双喜 | 1 set | Decorate the new home |
| Red banner for the door | 门帘 | 1 | Hung over the bride's door |
Guo da li items: Cantonese and Hakka
| Item | Chinese | How many | What it means |
|---|---|---|---|
| Betrothal ang bao (pin jin) | 聘金 | Thanks the bride's parents for raising her | |
| Dragon and phoenix candles | 龙凤烛 | 2 pairs | Lit at the hair-combing ritual on the wedding eve |
| Roast pig or roast pork | 烧猪 | 1 | For the bride's mother |
| Red wine or hard liquor | 酒 | 2 bottles | For the bride's father |
| Traditional wedding cakes | 喜饼 | as agreed | Shared with relatives and friends to announce the wedding |
| Oranges | 橘子 | 8 to 12 | Good luck |
| Apples | 苹果 | 12 to 16 | Peace |
| Dried seafood | 海味 | 1 set | A long, happy, well-provided marriage |
| Coconuts | 椰子 | 1 pair | Generations to come |
| Black moss | 发菜 | 2 packs | Sounds like 'prosper': abundant wealth |
| Abacus seeds (Hakka) | 算盘子 | 1 portion | A Hakka dish for a prosperous household |
| Double happiness stickers | 双喜 | 1 set | Decorate the new home |
| Red banner for the door | 门帘 | 1 | Hung over the bride's door |
The Cantonese dried seafood set (海味) usually includes sea cucumber (海参), abalone (鲍鱼), dried scallops (干贝), fish maw (花胶), dried cuttlefish (鱿鱼干), dried prawns (虾米), dried oysters (蚝豉), mushrooms (冬菇). Many families now leave out shark’s fin.
From the shop
Guo Da Li Checklist
Every item for your dialect group with the Chinese name and quantity, the gift box, hui li and a shopping list. Print it and tick it off.
The gift box from the groom’s mother
Alongside the gifts, the groom’s mother gives the bride jewellery and a box of dried goods, welcoming her into the family.
| Item | Chinese | What it means |
|---|---|---|
| Gold jewellery: four pieces (Teochew, and now common) | 四点金 | Earrings, ring, bangle and necklace from the groom's parents |
| Dragon and phoenix bangles (Cantonese) | 龙凤镯 | A pair of gold bangles from the groom's parents |
| Dried longan | 龙眼干 | A son, a 'dragon boy' |
| Red dates | 红枣 | Good fortune, children soon |
| Lily bulbs | 百合 | A lasting union: 'a hundred years together' |
| Walnuts or peanuts | 核桃 / 花生 | Harmony in the family |
| Lotus seeds | 莲子 | Many children |
| Pine leaves | 松柏 | Long life |
| Dried tangerine peel | 陈皮 | More luck |
| Dried winter melon | 冬瓜糖 | A sweet life together |
| Five grains (red or green beans, soybeans, barley, rice) | 五谷 | A good harvest |
How much pin jin?
Pin jin (聘金) is the bride price, given in a red packet to thank the bride’s parents. There is no fixed amount: the families agree it beforehand. Figures usually end in 8.
| Approach | Common amounts (2026) | What happens to it |
|---|---|---|
| Modern, low-key | S$888 to S$2,888 | Most or all of it returned |
| Traditional | S$2,888 to S$6,888 | An agreed portion returned |
| Strict traditional | S$6,888 and above | Agreed between the families |
The bride’s family often returns most of the pin jin and keeps a token sum. Separately, some grooms give the bride’s mother a thank-you ang bao on the wedding day, sometimes called nai shui qian (奶水钱).
Hui li: what the bride’s family returns
Hui li (回礼) happens the same day. The bride’s family keeps about half of the gifts and sends the rest back with these:
| Item | Chinese | What it means |
|---|---|---|
| About half of the groom's gifts | Accepting the proposal and sharing the good fortune | |
| Most of the pin jin, keeping a token sum | Agreed between the families; the token kept is often a small auspicious amount | |
| Gift for the groom: belt, wallet or watch | Usually with an ang bao inside | |
| Orange juice or syrup, in place of the liquor | Good fortune | |
| Steamed prosperity cake (huat kueh) | 发糕 | Prosperity |
| Sugarcane (Hokkien) | 甘蔗 | A sweet life, from top to root |
| A ruler | 尺 | Many children and grandchildren |
| A red umbrella | 红伞 | Shields the bride when she leaves home |
| Pants or a suit for the groom | 裤 | Wealth for life |
The bride’s dowry is often presented at the same time: tea set for the tea ceremony, descendant pail set (zi sun tong), new bedsheets and a duvet for the bridal bed, bedside lamps, dining set: bowls and chopsticks, two pairs of red slippers or clogs, sewing basket with an even number of thread rolls, gold jewellery from the bride's parents.
Where to buy guo da li items and cakes
Most couples buy a ready-made set from a Chinese wedding shop and add the fresh items themselves. In Singapore, The Chinese Wedding Shop, Sin Chye Departmental Store, Kekhoon and Golden Happiness all sell sets, and many offer bed setting too. For the wedding cakes, couples often order from traditional bakeries such as Kim Lim, Gin Thye, Swee Heng or Bengawan Solo. Order cakes and roast pork a few weeks ahead in peak wedding months.
Common questions
Is guo da li a must?
No. It is a family tradition, not a legal step. Many couples keep a short version: the ang bao, candles, cakes and fruit, with a simple hui li. Agree the scale with both sets of parents early.
Do we follow the groom’s or the bride’s dialect?
Usually the groom’s. If the families disagree, a common compromise is the groom’s list with a few items from the bride’s side added.
Can a Christian couple do guo da li?
Yes. Many Christian families keep the gifts and the family meeting and leave out the prayers and ancestor offerings.
Sources: HerWorld: guo da li items by dialect group; National Library Board: Chinese weddings in Singapore; SingaporeBrides: guo da li guide.
